This is again one of those songs that I know from Bill. Billy Joel was his favorite musician, and for some reason this song has made appearances over the past few weeks.
1. While we were in Vegas, John off handedly said "bottle of red, bottle of white" and I replied "Whatever kind of mood you're in tonight." Yes, I know. Nerdy.
2. When I told this to Rachel, she got that "What?" look on her face when I reference something that she does not know. So, I had to do a bit of the song.
The song is in three sections: people get together who were friends in, you guessed it, an Italian Restaurant. Joined by a sax solo, they reminisce about old times and catch each other up.
As I get older, it is fascinating how much songs change meaning. When I was in high school, this song was Bill's domain of last chances and lost people. When Joel sings "Things are OK with me these days" and rattles off a list of things that end with "fine" we all know it to be bull shit, but I bought it as a 14 year old. New office, wife meant things were good. I was a materialist even then, obsessed with how much I make.
And then the conversation turns to Brenda and Eddie, high school sweethearts who get married. As someone who married their high school sweetheart, this area of the song has special resonance for precisely the right reasons. In the song, things fall apart:
they lived for a while in a very nice style
but it's always the same in the end
they got a divorce as a matter of course
and they parted the closest of friends.
Rachel and I have come close to falling apart, closer than I probably realize. The thing is, it doesn't always have to be the same in the end. People do grow apart; Rachel is quite a different person now than when I married her. Many of our difficulties lay in the idea that I think I am not a better person than I am. She knows and appreciates my qualities, much more than I do. People cannot stay the same, as there would be no growth. I have not grown as much as I would have liked, and view this as meaning that I am some kind of fuck up. I am intensely proud of my wife and her many accomplishments, and could never think of a better person to be with.
This song is all about appearances, and so is my mind. It functions, sometimes very well, but I make poor decisions that I do not understand. One thing that I make a conscious effort to never do is take Rachel for granted. This is one of the mistakes made by the young couple.
They just didn't' count on the tears
At first, I know that I did not, either. Anyone in a relationship knows that there are ups and downs. For younger people these are fast: this song could never be written today, as either one of the people would have solicited relationship advice for any one of 100000 internet advice cites that link to the HuffPo. Swayed to one side or the other, they will make a choice and very few people part as friends anymore. People change, and there will be tears. People do not grow in a positive direction at all times. Older couples know this; the point is to believe that the negative is a period and not a permanent. Positives are the same. Brenda and Eddie were the king and the queen of the prom, but that never lasts.
So the king and the queen went back to the green
But you can never go back there again
You can, but you are no longer the king and queen. Be thankful for that, as being the star athlete, prom king, famous in whatever way ends.
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