The Famous Corner

Shadows of Haight phantoms of movements
angry drunks and street musicians
hookah shops and vintage clothes.
Need any weed? 
Anarchist bookstore owners haggle
over refunds while the ghosts stare down
from their shelves. Tourists elbow past looking
for something, anything. Take those pictures
on the famous corner while the addicts yell
Fuck you, man! I ain't sharing nothing with you!
Got a picture of Jerry in your window?
Got a tye-dyed shirt with a skull and a bear
trading on Old Gods Long Dead?
Got a picture of Janis, George and Levon?

Richard

Two men talking about old school surgery
and plumber (drummer) John the big time
professional while Richard needs a pass
but is afraid of the dirtbike district man.

And the janitor says "fuckin" while
Richard needs to get it himself.

Richard needs a pass
and wanders looking for people
while his family lives in Tracy
or is in between San Jose and
the new home and school.
Richard needs to get it himself.

And the janitor says "We'll go ridin'" and
plumber John says "Fuck yeah".
Richard needs to get it himself.

Richard is led away to get his
backpack that his friend hid under
a ramp. He needs a pass to this
school he no longer attends.
He never saw his girlfriend but
will wait for her at the 7-11 because
Richard needed a pass
But he needed to get it himself.

Student Song

Ask me difficult things, the things
that make the class stop so I can
start again.
                                What is she talking about?
Things you must come to know
Things I wish you could see
Things I wish on when I plan what to teach that day.
Things you will realize years from now
years from her and I
having this private talk in a room of twenty.

Invasion of the Summer High Schoolers

Conversation

Panda or Jamba is the decision.
I'm so dehydrated I need Jamba.
Hopefully you don't want Subway
I want Panda anyway.

Observation

Axe hangs heavy cutting the senses
of anyone within five feet of the table
of faces surrounding a guitar out of a case.
Gently strumming No Woman No Cry
shirtlessly watching the girls in flip flops
as the reverse siren song fails.

What I want to say when anyone asks how I am doing

I am the flat basketball that never gets the air. That new red playground ball that got impaled on the bush during kickball at lunchtime recess.

Yesterday was a hard day, today is a new one. Tomorrow will be something else. I define myself by failure, I define myself by not being who I want to be. Can one develop self-confidence when one does not know who he is?

How am I doing?

 I am thinner and in blessedly better shape than five years ago; my blood pressure is manageable. I look better than I have since the Clinton Administration. I have more hair on my back than I think I ever did on my head, even in the Mr. Sensitive-Pony-Tail-Natalie-Merchant-is-a-genius-year.

How am I doing?

When I hear a noise, I jump. When people look at me I think they will attack me. My school is closing and there isn't anything I can do about it. I hear angry voices of which one is my own one is dead and one ceased talking to me years ago. I'm not alone in wanting to beat the living hell out of 50% of the people I see, am I?

How am I doing?

I know I'm a mess but don't know where to start cleaning. I know clocks are ticking but I don't know what time it is. I know other people are dependent on me but I have to get my own mask on first. I know that the fire alarm was pulled but I don't know how to get out of this building.

 How am I doing?

I regret being in this teeming jungle of neuroses. I  regret abuses of my childhood or my adulthood. I regret lies I have told myself or others. I regret being weak. I regret thinking my friends and a wife whose talents and beauty are beyond my simple powers of description will run away from me at high speed if I say what I want to in answer to their question of how am I doing.